Edible Enlightenment

If it is true that you are what you eat, why is it, dear queens, that we let any old, packaged, processed and cooked beyond recognition thing pass our lips? A royals diet should not be composed of such common foods as...well...anything processed and stuffed full of chemicals in a plastic package or anything from (heaven forbid) a fast food restaurant. Can you imagine the Queen of England pulling up her carriage to a McDonald's and ordering a Big Mac? I think not. We are royalty and must treat ourselves as such. As I've said before, learn to cook. There is no better meal than one prepared from scratch with quality organic ingredients. There is no substitute for fresh fruits and vegetables. There is nothing to gain from food that is so far from what it originally was that you can barely identify it.

I recently made an amazing Eggplant Parmesan with oven roasted eggplant, home made tomato sauce, ricotta, mozzarella and fresh basil. Instead of frying the eggplant, I simply topped the casserole with toasted bread crumbs and Parmesan. So much healthier and still as exquisite. And please, do not give me the "I don't have the time" excuse. Cook in large batches, package in individual servings and freeze. You'll have a wholesome, home cooked meal available any time.

In regards to the quality of the food you are buying, do yourselves a favor and watch the film Food Inc....it will change your life...and your diet.

We are not common, why act as if?

(Super Size Me, No Impact Man and Fast Food Nation get honorable mention)

Glass Castles

Gossip. It is a nasty, nasty thing. It changes perceptions, tears down friendships and relationships and is just a plain un-ladylike thing to do. We are all guilty of it. I am no saint when it comes to the latest news about, well...anything. We all want to know everything about everyone. Here's my question, and God, please don't let it be true...are we really that bored with our lives that we have the insatiable urge to be so ingrained in the lives of others? Does it really make a difference in my life if I know about who's cheating on whom or which lady is not keeping down her lunch in order to lose those last five pounds? It's none of my business. It's not yours either. I have had plenty of untrue rumors flying about me in the past and they were perpetuated by my supposed friends (ok, so some of them were actually pretty funny...like the one where I was sleeping with this little troll of a man, as if!) but the point is that we all have our dirt and I'm pretty sure that we want to keep our dirt were it belongs. We are in no place to play Miss Nasty Judge and Jury to anyone but ourselves. So my lovely ladies, we all live in glass castles, none of should be throwing stones.

Happiness Is a Warm Gun

My friend Tracy just bought her first gun...a revolver. I am jealous, to say the least. To me, there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to use a gun. Imagine...her Ladyship, the great Lara Croft (as depicted by the incomparable Angelina Jolie, of course).

My gun of choice happens to be the mini glock (9mm). It's compact, comfortable and packs a rather wicked punch. I, however, rent my guns instead of owning my own.

Here is where the royal act of patience enters...after 14 years of renting, I have finally resolved to buy myself one for my next birthday. What a present, right? Now keep in mind, I am not a hard core feminist by definition but I do have a strong belief that women should know how to use a gun. Not only do I hold this belief because I want you to be able to defend yourself (honestly, men these days...they're not exactly the knight in shining armor type), but holding that much intensity in the palm of your hand is very empowering. For me, blowing through a box of ammo is an incredible form of stress relief. There is a massive amount of concentration involved and when you're done, you can't remember what stress brought you there in the first place. It's very cathartic. Let me explain...first, you pay your range fees, meanwhile ignoring the giggles of the men folk who don't think you belong there (bloody imbeciles), strap on your goggles and ear protection, load your gun, hang your target and commence to blowing every tiny, little piece of your lousy day away. Have a blast...literally. Trust me, few things come close to the thrill you get from feeling cold hard steel rip through your hands. It's magnificent.

The Printed Page

"Books may well be the only true magic"
-Alice Hoffman

My nightstand holds, on average, five to ten books on any given day. Currently there are seven...a book on fashion in 1970's Paris, 2-3 random novels, The Food Lovers Companion, a book on travel in Europe and a rather thick work of fiction that I have been attempting to read for the better part of five years. I am the odd type of person who reads multiple books at a time. I pick my books according to my mood. If I'm feeling dark and depressed, I pick up The Crimson Petal and the White and read about the dark, dank streets of Victorian London. Feeling sarcastic? Anything by my dear friend Simon Doonan or perhaps the snide Mr. Bourdain does the trick. Want something to completely numb the brain? Bergdorf Blondes is the perfect chick lit fluff. The thing that I love so dearly about the written word is it's ability to calm, de-stress and completely remove you from the one place you don't care to be to anywhere you prefer.

Books were and continue to be my oldest and dearest friends.

In my youth, I would read anything I could get my hands on. I would find a good climbing tree, perch myself in it and read for hours. I was obsessed. I believe that it was that obsession with books that led me to writing...and ultimately to you.

Please keep in mind, I am not trying to push my obsession with literature on you, only to explain to you my passion and why it exists. I have many passions...books, food, adventure, sex, travel...just to name a few. Passion is what life is all about anyway. Finding what excites you, what ignites that fire in your belly and then fueling it to keep it going. Passion is the soul of your existence.

Without passion...we perish.

Find yours.

Overcoming Fear Part Deux

OK, so I did it. I jumped out of a perfectly good plane and had the most amazing time of my life. (that's me, dead center by the way) I kept wondering when I would get the butterflies in my stomach but they never came. I guess that the experience was so surreal that my mind didn't really process what was about to happen. So there I was with my instructor strapped to my back and my feet dangling out of the plane. He tilted us forward and made a comment about the cloudiness of the day. Maybe he was trying to spook me but it didn't work. He asked me if I was ready, I shook my head yes, he tilted me forward, tilted me back and then we were gone. All I felt was the wind in my face and the mist of the cloud that we were falling through. It was exhilarating. There are no words to describe the sensation. There was no funny feeling in my stomach like on roller coasters. Just wind and a feeling of complete freedom. Did you know that you can fall ten thousand feet in sixty seconds? Me either. The clouds began to part and the earth suddenly was very clear. I think it may have finally registered that I was falling very quickly towards cold, hard ground. The day was so cold that I thought I was going to pass out from it and just as I was about to close my eyes against the icy blast, he pulls the chute. I hear a whoosh and all of a sudden we're just hanging there. Floating. He played with the cords and we swung back and forth and around looking at the amazing landscape below us. He pointed out the beach and mentioned that we were lucky because in the summer, it's to hazy to see. I was speechless. I can only imagine how much more beautiful it must be in the summer when everything is in full bloom. All I could think was "What the hell am I doing at my current job when there are jobs out here like this?!?" We floated around a bit more until we got close enough to the ground to land. I wish I could say that the landing was soft but a gust of wind caught us and needless to say...I broke his fall. No broken bones...don't worry. Just a bit sore today.

Oh, and by the way, yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat...it was worth every penny.